{October, 25th, 2017}

Usually, I do my very best in everything.

But sometimes I don’t. A heck of a lot of times I don’t.

Sometimes I know that I should excercize, but I’m too comfortable under the duvet to get out of bed early.

Sometimes I know that a certain type of food isn’t very good for me- but I buy it anyway because, you know… comfort.

Sometimes, I drag myself to my studio, look at the pile of work staring at me from my desk- and I deliberately ignore it.

Sometimes I see that I should clean the house- and I don’t.

A lot of times I’m aware that I’m indulging in thoughts that are not good for me, but I keep thinking them.

Sometimes I allow my inner gremlins to scare me, and then I feel powerless. Sometimes I entertain myself too much in victimhood mentality, even when I’m conscious of giving my power away.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I criticize or feel bad, instead of loving myself fully as I am and rejoyicing for being alive.

Sometimes I’m too lazy to shave myself. Or I do in a grand total of 20 seconds under the shower.

Sometimes I beat myself up for not being good enough, and I compare myself to others. Sometimes I think and believe I don’t deserve to be loved because I’m not as perfect or beautiful as they are.

Sometimes I listen too much to what slumbering, close family members are saying about my body, and let that wound my heart.

Sometimes I spend more money than I should, buying totally unnecessary things.

Sometimes I cheat on the universe, telling “I’m here! Use me!”- and then I run because I’m scared to death.

Sometimes I don’t honor my Soul, I don’t speak my truth fully, I hide from myself and my heart, pretending that my truth is different- because I’m terrified by it.

Sometimes I hide from the world- because shining my light is scary, and blending in is easy.

Most of the times I give myself entirely to the task, the other person, myself, my Purpose and Mission- but a heck of a lot of times I don’t.

But differently from hat I used to do in the past, feeling guilty and condemning myself for not being the best of the best of the very best of me in any given moment, now I welcome these opportunities to learn valuable lessons about myself, that I wouldn’t “get” so profoundly otherwise. I welcome these moments when I “fail”, as a way to prepare to soar higher and higher.

… And you bet that then I do!

Monica xoxo

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Copyright text, images and artwork ©2008-2017 Monica Sabolla