{October, 19th, 2017}

“Quiet your mind, and stop judging, resisting and manipulating the natural way“- Lao Tzu

It is quite early in the morning, and as soon as I opened my eyes, I jumped out of bed to write this post.

It has been a very intense summer, and early Autumn for me- my spiritual journey wise. For the past several weeks I haven’t been peaceful at all.

As the outer circumstances in my life were causing me stress, overwhelm and worry, instead of keeping on the right path and doing my usual and necessary soulwork on a daily basis, it has fallen by the wayside. I had a huge amount of work to finish, and with that excuse, I didn’t go out hiking, driving in the countryside, excercizing regularly (ways that I use to do my deep soulwork). I haven’t devoted myself regularly to meditation, stopped journaling for weeks, and even didn’t eat or drink much. Needless to say, that has had a bad effect on my vibration, and therefore, the lack of peace (… and consequently, also poor sleeping to make things worse).

I haven’t tended enough to my inner world, and the result was an unbalance on the outside, too.

I have tuned my “radio frequency” to judgment, resistance and manipulation, instead of tuning myself to the higher frequencies of ease, JOY and love.

I have focused on my worries, my fears, and what I thought was better for me and my life- from a rational standpoint- instead of allowing it to follow the natural way.

I have tried so hard to control my life, instead of letting it be.

Of course it would have been simpler to surrender to the Universe, and I wouldn’t have created such a mess in my heart and mind- but I was scared by “the natural way”, because it always points me in one and only direction- and at times it seems to me that God wants my blood, wanting me to bang my head repeatedly against a wall, and making me suffer! I have tried and tried to knowingly cheat on myself and on the Universe, pretending that it had made a mistake! LOL

But there are no mistakes in this perfect universe. There are only false perceptions of reality, fears, and false beliefs. And I’m totally aware of that, and totally aware of a block in my consciousness (plain, old fear…. or terror, if you wish) to move ahead on my true path. Yet I still try to control the outcome, when the “natural way” for my life, that I feel so strongly within me, is not aligned with what my mind insists in pointing out it would be better (safer!) for me.

Eventually, it is time to surrender. It is time to trust the Universe once again. It is time to let God take the lead.

I know the power of surrender. Because this supreme act of letting go of our wants, and beliefs, and preconceived ideas, always has worked its magic for me. I have experimented the power of divine love on my own skin. Yet sometimes I forget, and I let my ego rule the game.

God makes a way where there is no way, opens a door where we just see a tall wall. God can straighten bananas :), as one of my dearest friends told me when my whole world crumbled before my eyes.

I trust this with all my heart, and it’s not purely a belief based on what someone else speaks of, because I have experienced such “miracles” in my life! During very difficult times I have had faith that the universe had my back, and that I couldn’t be defeated because Spirit was on my side. I have an indomitable faith in the power of Love, and I know it doesn’t let me down- ever. It doesn’t let anyone down- ever. Remember this when you’re tempted to fall into depression, fear, powerlessness. It’s such a deep knowing for me, ingrained in all the cells of my body, in every corner of my being. So why oh why in this circumstance I don’t trust? Why do I feel doubtful? Why do I fear?

Instead of listening to my doubtful and fearful ego, the great saboteur, I’d better trust my inner knowing.

After days and days of hard work to get myself straight on this, I’m ready and willing to completely surrender now. Whatever has to be, can be. I give it permission to be– in the ways my Soul knows give me the utmost JOY. Because truth is, I often hide from myself, pretending that I don’t know what gives me the utmost JOY because I fear it- and instead it just takes to look at myself in the mirror, and I can see the visible expression of my JOY in my eyes! All I see is radiance– clearly visible, not just perceivable, for me to witness. Nonetheless I’m still there panicking at times, and trying to resist and manipulate the Universe.

I’m at peace now. I surrender.

You are my witness.

I now let God do His work.

It’s the work of the Universe, after all- not mine- even though at times I feel the responsibility to do it. But the truth is, it isn’t my work. I’, aware that that sense of responsibility is a subtle need of my ego to control my life.

My work is doing my own work. My work is surrendering, letting go, melting my ice, opening my heart, keeping it open, opening up to miracles, and getting out of the way.

I surrender.

And I know it’s for my highest good, it is my Soul wanting to sing its song, desiring to expand, guiding me to fulfill my destiny, the purpose why I’m here- in this blessed, awesome point in time for humanity, in this body, on planet Earth.

Monica xoxo

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Copyright text, images and artwork ©2008-2017 Monica Sabolla