MY LIFE TOOK AN UNEXPECTED TURN

In 2009, a “fracture” occurred in my life, and my whole world crumbled before my eyes, leaving me broken, exhausted, and physically, mentally, and emotionally drained.

I did a lot of work to heal myself, but after three years had passed, I still felt like the drama in my life was slowly killing me.

I had lost and grieved many things by then (especially my sense of identity and security), and had reached rock bottom in all areas of my life, the most concerning of which was my health. I was always exhausted for no logical reason, had chronic migraines with cyclic vomiting, problems in my intimate parts that kept worsening no matter how hard I tried to cure and heal them, continuous pain in my back and neck, sudden rashes and hives on my body, new conditions showing up like red flags one after another. I used to take pills and painkillers almost every day, and feel disheartened, sad, and powerless. 

One day- it’s still such a vivid memory- while I was vomiting in the bathroom, I suddenly realized I was rejecting my life. Right then and there I came to my senses and said to myself, “Enough is enough”. A few months later, I moved to England with my husband, two suitcases, a holiday cottage booked for a few months, and lots of hope and a big dream tucked in my pockets. The first night my husband and I were in our cottage, he had a scary health problem, and he could not remain. He booked our return flight, but overnight I felt a strong guidance inside, and the next morning I decided to remain in England by myself, preparing everything for his return. 

From that point on, with no certainty about the future, armed just with faith, hope, and a deep trust in God and in the guidance of my heart, it has been a magical, unbelievable, amazing, moving, surprising, sometimes crazy, dance with the Universe, that led me to totally unexpected places- both metaphorically and physically. My awareness about myself and life hugely expanded, my sensitivity deepened and widened, I healed on all levels, and I ended up living in the Cotswolds by myself for five solid years. My life turned 180, I found all what I was desperately looking for (even without having the barest idea of what it was!), and even what I was NOT looking for at all! All my life was “upgraded” thanks to one teeny tiny, brave choice.

IN THE COCOON TO HEAL AND TRANSFORM

In the English countryside I discovered the power of silence and solitude, and of solo hikes in the wild nature of the beautiful Cotswolds. I didn’t waste a single second by indulging in my fears, discomfort, doubt, and worries. For the very first time in my life, I chose myself and my wellbeing and happiness over anything and anybody else. I learned to rest and take care of myself, and for the first time in my life also,  I started forgiving myself, and giving myself encouragement, love, and appreciation.

I learned to listen to my own needs, to love my own company, to tune into my intuition. I faced my deepest and darkest fears, my scary gremlins. I faced myself in the mirror- over and over again. I felt discomfort and fear, and I did it anyway.

I pushed myself hard through my resistance, accepted the present moment and all of my physical conditions and the rest of the situations in my life exactly as they were. I started to forgive the people who had hurt me or caused me pain or problems, to forgive myself for all of my mistakes instead of beating myself up, to pat myself on the back and cheer myself on. I celebrated each small accomplishment, each tiny victory on myself, got myself back on my feet whenever I fell, let go of what needed to be released.

I held on to my hope, to my dreams, to what I felt so strongly inside me to be true, like if my life depended on it. I peeled off layers and layers of societal conditioning. I learned to choose JOY, to savor silence and solitude, and started being intimate with God and my True Self in a totally new, exciting way.

I made conscious, brave choices at any given moment, I did my inner work incessantly, I persisted in everything I knew I had to do, even when it was freaking hard and I was exhausted or afraid.

By risking my heart, I gradually opened it- until it burst wide open.

STRETCHING MY WINGS AND FLYING FREE

I climbed hills, walked and drove the miles, filled many journals from cover to cover for the first time in many years. I discovered places, picked posies of JOY, cooked up a storm, met new people, chased the sunset, took thousands of pictures, contemplated the stars and the moon, ran until dark, walked at dawn, wrote three books, created lots of new art. I decluttered my home, purged my life, found true love, healed myself emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and also my physical conditions without traditional medicine or a doctor, trained myself to think differently, learned to hug, reached high levels of consciousness, and an incredible inner peace. Like a caterpillar turned into a beautiful butterfly, I transformed myself from a shy, complaining, disempowered, anxious, fearful, always exhausted, insecure girl, to a super confident, trusting, energetic, healthy, empowered woman, deeply rooted in her truth and not afraid to speak about it. I did things I never believed were possible, or I was capable of.

I felt it all, savored it all.

It was a lonely, scary, painful, and uncomfortable journey at times, but also a wonderful, exciting, moving, and very comforting time of rest and transformation, before I was ready to come out of the cocoon, stretch my wings, and fly free. In England I discovered my Purpose in life, and what I’m here on planet Earth to do. And the time has come for me to give it my all.

Without hesitation, without reservations, without limitations. My mantra. A message that has intuitively come to me through my heart one day while hiking in the beautiful countryside, and I then had engraved on three wraps that I use whenever I go out in Nature.

I hope my journey inspires you!

START YOUR JOURNEY TO WINGS

I have created online courses, inspired by my own journey, to inspire, guide and support you in your “journey to wings”!

I’m keeping open for you the gate to a life full of new exciting possibilities.

… Will you pass the threshold?